30 First Weeks

After the requisite 2 to 3 weeks of isolation (Drinks?! I just started back!) I have enough emotional bandwidth to face the world and reflect on my 30th first day in the classroom. 

I feel tired, but also excited to see the kids, even the ones who aren’t excited to be back.  I am grateful to be refreshed.  I was fortunate enough to walk away from summer school and pick up part-time work outside of education. The loss of income was felt, but fewer nights out was an easy trade for starting school in a restful place. 

 I was happy to be going back to the long and chaotic days, much less the busy and unpredictable ones.

As the days of our break began to eek away, I saw more of my co-workers shedding a tearful good-bye to summer on social media.  I stayed quiet. They didn’t want  to hear that I was happy to be going back to the long and chaotic days, much less the busy and unpredictable ones.  My hackles aren’t up; my heart is ready for the joy and pain of adolescents.  Plus, it’s going to be 90 degrees until October; summer wasn’t over.

Is it mindfulness or age that has allowed me to stay in this profession?  I think both have helped me understand balance. I have found 51 has brought out an ugly anger about where this country has left its families.  However, I can more clearly see when I begin to follow angry thoughts into angry stories that are tipping me off balance. I don’t pick up the rope that kids call rage-baiting, and it’s easier to lean back in situations where I would have pushed in the past.  I try to save my outrage for situations that require it rather than throw it up all over a kid who is being a kid.  The balance is what allows me to have more good days than bad. It’s stubbornness  (age) that has allowed me to surpass the 10 years I was told I could keep doing this job before burning out

Experience has allowed me to see the people who serve all around me.

I've also learned to see my role in a balanced way.  A sign that I am starting to head into unhelpful thinking is when I see the job as the kids and me on one side and everyone else on the other. 30 years has helped me see that I am not alone in the fight. Experience has allowed me to catch that thought and see the people who serve all around me. The same way you can’t be just a teacher to the kids. I watch coaches, social workers, and police officers serving multiple functions in the lives of the people they support. You can’t care for kids and not be an advocate when they ask for it.

When the Mindful Educators Resource Guide was written, we were trying to reach out to the caretakers in adolescent mental health who we saw burning out and leaving.  Since then, the social welfare of our country has all but disappeared and been replaced with an “I get mine” ethos.  School staff have always been asked to juggle more duties with less time.  As the funds and people entering the field of education decline, administration has to keep more balls in the air with fewer staff.  Other public servants, such as local politicians, are scrambling to find resources for their community while advocacy groups sound the alarm about the wilful neglect of our most fragile citizens. The “why” of serving that motivated us to write the book might seems quaint during a time when dumpster fire is the go-to symbol of the work we do. All of these people are called to serve and do so without question.  That’s a great way to start, but staying requires a reason.

It’s not futile to seek solutions.  It does require balance on many levels, and mindfulness helps

keep an eye on the apathy.

The needs of families are the same as they were 30 years ago. The intensity of the need has changed. Who meets those needs has changed. WE are going to have to fight for humanity while we care for each other, and WE cannot afford to lose people who wake up and choose to care for others because it's their heart. So I sit down to write a blog letting others know that it’s not futile to seek solutions.  It does require balance on many levels, and mindfulness helps us keep an eye on the lunchtime rants, the racing thoughts, and the apathy. I am back at school, and I get to see the kids, help the families, and the people all around me who do the same.  Who wouldn’t be excited to be surrounded by so many beautiful and selfless people?